Thursday, June 9, 2011

Thursday's Thoughts... Positivity.

The past few weeks, maybe even months, I've been challenging myself to be a more positive person.   This pregnancy has a lot to do with it, but so have a few events that have occurred in my life.  I feel like I've been observing the people in my life, and what I feel when I spend time with them, and how I feel after.  It's those that are positive about their own lives, those who are encouraging and uplifting, that I find myself wanting to be around more often. Then I thought... how do people feel after spending time with me, how do they feel after?  Do they feel like they've been energized and uplifted?  Or do they feel like they feel completely drained by me and my negativity and selfishness?  I realized I wanted it to be the first of the two. 
So, I've been trying to be very intentional about my words and actions.  There are a lot of areas in my life where I've been trying to do this.  I have a job now, at a coffee shop, which most of my friends (since we met working at coffee shops) know that there's always drama and negativity seeping through the cracks in the walls, or so it seems.  So I've been trying to be positive with ever comment made about another person who works there, as well as customers. 
Like I said earlier, I have been trying super hard to be positive about this pregnancy.  I've come to realize... not everyone is interested in hearing me complain about how my back and feet hurt, I'm having contractions, and how I can't bend down.  I know I'm only 24 weeks, and I remember how hard it gets towards the end, so I'm going to try really hard to make sure I keep this up all the way through.  So, instead I've been trying to talk about how I'm enjoying this pregnancy, and staying positive about the VCI.  I've been talking about how I am enjoying my alone time with Ellie, and the routine we have that allows me to have time alone with Matt as well.  I want to stay positive about my baby's health, as well as my own.  It certainly makes a difference.  Stress isn't good for anyone, especially a baby growin' in the belly.
I've also had so many friendships where I've spoken ill of other people, knowing fully well that the person I'm talking to does the same about me.  It's so wrong.  I don't want to talk poorly about other people, or tell things that I'm not at liberty to tell.  I also don't want to be in a relationship where I know I'm being talked about in a negative way behind my back.  (Does anybody want that?  Probably not...)  I've been hurt so badly by people doing that to me in the past, and it's amazing, I'm still having a hard time getting over that hurt.  So, I want to be intentional about my words about friends and other people in my life.  I want them to be confident that I'm on their side, all of the time, not just when they're in front of me. 
There are so many things in life that we could see as glass half empty/could be better... but why not see them the other way around?  At least try it!  I was talking to a friend yesterday about life right now- I feel like it could always be better and I look forward to it being better someday.  But again, I could always find something to complain about.  Like... It's not easy having a husband who is doing his masters while he works... but you know what?  He's working hard, for me, for our family and someday it's going to REALLY pay off for us!  It's not easy having a house under construction, but at least I'm not living in a tiny apartment pulling my hair out!  It's not easy being a stay at home mom, but I REFUSE to complain about this one.  We can afford it, most people can't.  I'm just finding that it's easier in a lot of ways, to be positive about the things that we could see as being difficult.  And you know what, doing something about it! That's so important.  It's not only important to speak positively, think positively, but I think the most important thing about this is... if you complain about something, try to do something about it to make it different.  Matt and I are finding time for each other despite how crazy life is right now, and Ellie and I have been more proactive about getting out together, and I've been trying to get out to have alone time as well.  It's nice, and now I have NO reason to complain!
So now that I've taken the action to be a more positive person, I've noticed that my life has greatly improved.  My friendships, my marriage, my relationship with my daughter, other relationships in my life... are so much better.  By no means am I perfect, and it doesn't always work.  I still complain, and I still find myself being negative at times... but it takes practice, and really, really being intentional to be a positive person.
So my questions for you are.... are you a positive person?  Do you like who you are?  What do you think people feel like when they spend time with you?  Do you think there's something you need to change?  If so.... I dare you.  I dare you to spend a month being intentional about bringing positivity into all of the parts of your life!  I promise you'll be happy with the results.  And trust me, I'll be checking back in on this topic to see how you're doing!

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